The Alford Crew

September 5, 2009

~three words~

Filed under: General, wandering/questions of the heart... — Kristina @ 2:47 pm

Will you forgive me?

Okay, so that’s four words.  I originally started to type the words- I am sorry.  But while typing I feel that”i am sorry” just isn’t enough…

I/we need to realize when we have done something wrong-be accountable by realizing we are a sad, sorry bunch sometimes! Upon realizing we are sorry, we should feel remorse-sincere remorse, then ask for forgiveness-declare we feel we have wronged another and just say, “I’m sorry that i said or behaved, assumed”… or whatever fits the specific situation…

Why is this so difficult for our human race?

Is it pride? Laziness? Do people really feel they are never to blame that it is always someone else to blame? Seems we accept the lie that the enemy wishes us to take hook line and sinker-ya know the one that makes us think we can do no wrong, it’s always someone else’ fault…we will sacrifice all types of relationships even die for the issue of being the “right one” although in most of these cases both parties have messed up somewhere in the ordeal.

When i am selfish or hurting within…i hurt people-most times unknowingly-at other times w/shame i must confess i have purposely aimed a cross look or been right out mean before, especially when i was younger…thankfully the Holy Spirit has that awesome power to touch my soul and make me aware—VERY aware just how awful I can be (this is called conviction).  In those unknowing times that my words or frustration hurt another i am so grateful for those who will call or swing by and share the hurt i may have caused so we can work through it.

It appears each one of us have the potential to make a positive impact on society…but this lack of responsibility/accountability and humility renders it’s possessors ugly, unapproachable and ineffective for positivity. Again, i ask, why is this so difficult? The Bible says to pray for our enemies, right?  Okay with that in mind, i have never thought of myself having enemies…even when i have been hurt or upset with someone, no…never felt they were my enemy, but what defines an enemy?  Maybe it is self that is our worst enemy…This would lead me to believe we must pray more to keep our self in check-to discipline our lives more and realize it isn’t about us all the time—Rather life may just be about others, most importantly about what our Creator desires for us and others.

I guess the question of my heart is, are you or i ugly, unapproachable, negative and ineffective by choice? Who do we need to approach with an, “I am sorry”, or a “Will you forgive me?”  Maybe we need to just forgive someone whether or not they ask us to forgive them…

Would it be safe to say we all need to ask the questions— Who do i need to forgive and/or who do i need to ask to forgive me?

I guess it’s time to “Live well, live wisely, live humbly” and not just keep talking about in this post…(James 3)

Over the past 9 mos. or so, i have grown distant w/ many friends and acquaintances, why? I don’t really know, other than some crazy life stuff just came our way and i feel derailed so to speak…I am realizing i have laid back on enjoying friendships while focusing on taking time to just be with Chris and the boys when there was extra time…I also realize this hasn’t been so very healthy for keeping friendships in tact and well for this i am sorry, please forgive me…

August 1, 2009

~Sweet Simplicity~

Filed under: General, Poems by Kristina, wandering/questions of the heart... — Kristina @ 3:08 am

Is it wrong to desire simplicity?

A simple life is described how by you?

For me, you ask?  Seems that i am learning the simple things of life are very complex…so complex that one can only explain that God is in control of it or was behind the creation of it…Most of these simple things are what make me come “alive” inside.

For instance:

The warmth of a single ray of sun landing on a cheek, reminding one that she is radiant, wanted, desired to be around.

A single drop of rain landing on the tip of one’s nose tickling the senses, signaling the body to breathe in that specific holy aroma…in sweet abandon a downpour of love from the Heavenly Father.

A cushion of sand and dirt formed underneath with toes tingling, anticipating of the salty ocean awaiting to soothe and heal- His presence is near.

A gentle hand laid to rest upon my own with affirmation He is with me always, he will never leave…that simple…never leave.

A smile of contentment upon the echo of a child’s laughter, returning one’s heart to the scene of Grace-Grace in crimson flowing as a drape covering, even erasing all complexities and bondage of sin…the freedom love holds

Acceptance within the hug of a faithful friend…one who knows just how complex we are yet recognizes the reach for such sweet simplicity.

A kiss, instead of betrayal… a kiss spurring passion, patience, peace that passes all understanding…a certain place of bliss…hope…sweet simplicity.

~kristina alford~

June 28, 2009

~Pondering~

Filed under: wandering/questions of the heart... — Kristina @ 1:04 pm

My hubby uses the word ponder a lot…A LOT. He does, ponder that is. He can sit so still and think, pray, listen to someone for the longest time. He can weigh a situation and normally come out of it with such grace and insight, wisdom…i love how He hears from the One who loves us so much. In conversation we have had before he has shared sometimes we Christ followers tend to talk and request so much of our God that we fail to just be quiet and listen.  I am learning how to do more of the listening as he mentioned. Something else that has been very educational for me lately has been to request that He (God) tell me what and who to pray for–that it not be about me always…

So i have been pondering about idleness and busy-ness.  How much of each do i do and what am i contributing if anything to life in the Kingdom?

Do i take life too seriously?

Am i subversive enough?

What do i mean by subversive?

Do i care too much about what others think?

How much time do i sit and share little details about my life (as if peeps really wish to know about my life)?

How much of that time could be used better elsewhere?

hmmm…

ponder, ponder, ponder…maybe that is better than wandering around always trying to figure out what or where is next…maybe this is part of the be still and know I’m God part we are to ponder.

pondering yet again…

Do you ponder or wander?

June 20, 2009

I wanna be…

Filed under: General, Understanding, wandering/questions of the heart... — Kristina @ 3:33 am

I wanna be a child when i grow up…

It brings pure joy to Chris and I to hear our children dream and plan for the day at hand as well as the  future…to hear our 14 year old talk about college and what he thinks he might want to be is so cool! (Not so sure i am totally enjoying the talk of learner permits/driver license and cars just yet, but…)

It seems only yesterday i was doing the same thing. Several of the things i had hoped to do have already came into my life, a few were sweet thoughts but haven’t happened and who knows if they ever will, but still sweet thoughts and now memories that have built character. Cayden is still so young, but he lives to go to his day school and play with Mrs. April’s race cars and the other children, he already prepares for it mentally, especially when he knows it is Tuesday or Wednesday! If he hears of us planning a family pic nic, he knows of a close by play ground with the Chronicles of Narnia theme fully equipped with slides and swings a huge dirt pile with kid size construction equipment, such fun to hear him talking about going to play-even more fun to go play with him there!

Think of it…in most circumstances children are full of faith, generally fun to be around until corrupted by adults and our lack of faith and fun factor…most have a certain “innocence” that pulls on your heart strings. Most children believe they can be or do anything, most have no fear, most laugh without knowing they are supposed to laugh, cry, run, dance and even play without having to be told to do it. We learn a lot as we grow, behaviors are picked up from our surrounding models…this could be good and this could be bad depending.

To think of today and trust…to forget the past and forgive or think fondly… to look forward to the future with faith— but happy if there is only today -is this the meaning of being an “adult sized-child”?

I wonder…

James shares:

“Now listen, you who say today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.  Why, you do not even   know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”

“Instead, you ought to say, if it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

I wanna be an adult child with faith saying His will be done and living that out.

Today, i hope to get news of the okay to work in this city, carry on business here, make money and invest in lives of those around me, if it is God’s will.

Tomorrow, i hope to witness a beautiful bride and her groom remind us of Christ and his bride the church…, if it is God’s will.

Tomorrow evening, i hope to lay my head and say thank you to the one and only God of truth for the privilege of dreaming and being a child of His-if it is His will.

I wanna believe much if not all of this is His will.

I am reminded of a verse that speaks of God doing exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask, dream or imagine.  So i guess i don’t wish to be a child in the normal definition, i just desire to have that faith and wonder of a child before the fear knocks, before confinement and unnecessary man made rules were made.

What are your dreams?

February 14, 2009

~Commitment…oops i said the “c” word!~

Filed under: quotes, wandering/questions of the heart... — Kristina @ 6:30 pm

Saw the quote below the other day and just think it is fabulous…

Have you ever halfway committed to something?  You are not the only one…but,  you may not have been truly committed.

Maybe you started something then realized it wasn’t a fit– ya know a job or career path, an exercise routine-fitness center, a club/organization— or a relationship such as a friendship or love?

Is it true that our society in general has commitment issues or what?  Something i have been picking up on even in my own life…we all have some level of selfishness.  Selfishness has often hindered me from seeing a task or commitment situation for what it really is, therefore i will start something and realize “oh that’s really not a fit for me”.  Yes, there have been times i just did not want to work hard for something as well, so, unfortunately I have backed out of a few commitments or causes that i should have been a part of.

I am spacing this quote out for impact…take it in, my toes kind of hurt, in recent history, i have thought i am a person of commitment and passion…i am now hoping to attain that description for my character.  Maybe i have been committed to some level, but am learning i now must extend further than i have.

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating-              in work, in play, in love.                     The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic,                       from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as      rational hesitation.

To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”

~Anne Morriss~

Wow! Just thought i would share something i am personally working on.

Older Posts »

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.